The Day the Devil Died
by smaragdbird
Summary: Every year they celebrated the day the devil had died and with each year it becomes clearer that time does heal all wounds but it does it slowly.  Sam/Nick pre-slash with background Dean/Castiel


The physical damage was extensive but nothing that wouldn't heal except for the burns on Nick's skin which would turn into scars eventually. Still, the damage was bad enough that Nick had to spend several weeks in a hospital, spleen rupture, a collapsed lung these things took their time and medical supervision to heal.

But they would heal.

The psychological damage on the other hand...Nick had endured one of the worst things humans could do to other humans, so he hadn't been that stable to begin with when Lucifer had hurled him into a world where angels and demons and gods existed, where every myth and ghost story you had ever heard had come to life and where there were monsters under your bed or in your closet that could easily come out and eat you.

And then he had been possessed by Lucifer.

If being possessed by Castiel was like being chained to a comet then being possessed by Lucifer was like - diving full speed off of the edge of the universe.

Sam had no words for what it felt like and he was sure that Nick couldn't describe it either.

It was a testament to Nick's strength that all that hadn't driven him insane.

The crippling, blind-panic fear to be left alone was understandable in comparison even if it meant that privacy was something of the past.

Nick couldn't be alone in a room, he just couldn't. Dean was bit more put off than Sam, who connected with Nick on a level that Dean fortunately couldn't understand because Dean hadn't been the vessel of an archangel.

Also, Nick couldn't sleep alone.

Dean had cracked more than a few jokes on Sam and Nick sleeping in the same bed, after he had overcome being weird out that was, but the sleeping arrangement worked as much for Sam as it did for Nick.

The immediate sight and feeling of a familiar body next to you after waking up from memories of hell and demons and angels anchored you more in reality than everything else.

Once they had arranged with Nick in their life Sam taught him the things he needed to know: shooting, self-defence, interviewing people, deception.

Sam hoped that learning to fight; learning that every monster, supernatural or human, could be killed would help Nick to stand on his own feet again one day.

/

It's been three years since the devil died. Sam hasn't seen Dean or Cas since breakfast but it was very clear that they would spend the rest of the celebrating that neither of them had died last year and it really wasn't the kind of celebrating Sam wanted to see or hear.

'Hey.' He joined Nick on the porch of their house. After Lucifer's death Nick had needed a long time to heal, both physically and emotionally which was why Sam, Dean and Cas had taken him in.

'Hey.' Nick answered. Before meeting him Sam had thought that the constant air of sadness around him had been part of Lucifer but it was actually a part of Nick. Not surprising considering what the man had lived through.

'It's been three years.' Nick said while staring into the distance: 'Four since I let him in.' Sam had never figured out what to say when Nick offered a bit of his time as Lucifer's vessel, so he just let him talk to avoid making things awkward. Nick often reminded him of a fragile, broken bird who even after mending enough to fly again could break apart in a stiff wind.

'You never asked me why I let him in.' Nick turned to Sam with his kind and sad, sad eyes.

'I figured...with your family...' Sam trailed off.

'You thought he offered me revenge for my family?' Nick asked and Sam nodded.

'He offered me revenge on God. In that moment it was good enough. I didn't care about me. Or humanity.'

'And now?' Sam asked. He remembered last month when Nick had laughed for the first time, Sam had thought that he had never heard anything as beautiful as this.

'It's getting easier to live each day.' Nick answered truthfully. He smiled at Sam and it was a sincere smile even if it was tinged with sadness but Sam had learned long ago that with Nick everything held a tinge of sadness.

'Thanks to you.' Sam held Nick's gaze for a few seconds until they both looked away. No matter what Dean thought even though he was sleeping in the same room and the same bed as Nick they weren't involved like that. It was about companionship and closeness and contact. Sex didn't figure in it at all.

'How about pizza and a movie?' Sam offered.

'Sounds good.'

'Here.' Sam threw Nick the keys of the Impala: 'You're driving.'

Maybe in a year or two they would take the next step in their relationship but for now Sam left the sex for Dean and Cas and was content with Nick's sad smiles.

/

It was late when they drove back home. The movie had been awful but Nick had insisted on seeing a film where God hated everyone, Gabriel was a fanatic and Michael fell to save humanity.

Paul Bettany here or there, it had been an awful movie.

"Stop here." Sam told Nick when they were halfway home. Around them was nothing but the stars above them and the open road. Nick frowned puzzled at Sam but he pulled aside and after they stopped he followed Sam out of the car.

Sam leaned against the car front and looked up at the stars.

"I used to do this with Dean." He told Nick: "As a break from life."

"Sam, why are you telling me this?" Nick asked openly.

"Because this is real, you and me I mean. I want to share things with you. Things that are important to me so that when I remember them, you're part of that memory." Sam said fiercely.

"Sam..."

"I know you're not ready. I respect that. All I want you to know is that I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you as long as it takes."

Sam looked into Nick's eyes, dared him to accept what Sam offered and on the hood of the Impala Nick tentatively slid his fingers over Sam's to show him that he had accepted.


End file.
